Wednesday, April 22, 2015

DIY Chalkboard

Chalkboards can be expensive if you're buying them from a craft store. I have now made 3 chalkboards of my own for less than $10 each. And it's so simple!

Friday, April 10, 2015

Special Needs

I just want to say thank you to everyone who has commented, messaged me, or talked to me in person about the situation that might be happening with Timothy. I appreciate it so very much. You guys don't know how much your kind words have meant to me. Some have resonated with me deeply.

In my last blog about it, I had said that I hadn't cried yet. That has changed.

Tuesday (The day after the meeting with the teachers) they sent a flyer home in Timothy's backpack. It is for a dinner at a church for "Special needs" children and their families. I had never thought of Timothy as special needs. Even if he has autism, I never thought of him that way.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with special needs children or their families. God bless special needs families. They're such strong, beautiful, encouraging people. I admire them so much.

But when I read that flyer, it really hit me. Hard.

I calmly made my way to our guest bathroom and I broke down. (I'm breaking down as I type this) I sobbed and I ugly cried for what felt like forever. I guess seeing it on paper like that made it even more real for me. But that wasn't upset me.

What upset me was that I doubted myself. "How could I be a parent of a special needs child?" I thought. I questioned if I could be strong enough or capable enough to take care of a special needs child. All the parents I see out there are so wonderful. And they do such great jobs. "Could I do that too?" I wondered. I've never dealt with anything like that before in my life other than when I substituted at the schools. I'm not trained. I don't have knowledge. It just really scared me. And I felt like I couldn't breathe.

But then I calmed down. And I thought, "Wait a minute. If Timothy does have autism or there is some other situation going on, I have been taking care of him the past 4 years. I have been capable the past 4 years. What has changed now?"

And it was simple. Nothing. Nothing has changed now. And nothing will change with any diagnosis. I will still be his mother. I will still take care of him the best possible way that I know how. I will still love him unconditionally. And I will still be his biggest cheer leader.

Like his teachers told me, it is going to get harder before it gets easier. I needed that cry. I needed to let it all out. And after I had, I felt so much better. And I still feel great.

Every little thing is going to be alright.


Thursday, April 9, 2015

DIY No Sew Burlap Bedskirt Tutorial

I am going to outline how to do a simple no sew burlap bedskirt. It is so easy, it's almost too easy! And it's very cheap.

Looking at online prices, to buy a burlap bedskirt (the kind that I wanted) range anywhere from $39.95 & up. The burlap (In Natural) I bought at Hobby Lobby literally cost me $15. I bought 7 yards (but really only needed 5 yards) I used the Hobby Lobby 50% coupon and that is how I got it all for $15.

Monday, April 6, 2015

My 3 Year Old Might Have Autism

Today's post was actually going to be about how to make a no sew burlap bed skirt. But I needed to get this off of my chest.

My 3 year old Timothy has been in a Pre-K program since the very beginning of December. We were referred by his doctor because we had concerns. At 3 he still is not talking. He can talk, but he has never once said a full sentence. He says words but only at random times. He keeps to himself. He doesn't play with other children. And if we veer from routine situations, he has meltdowns.

We had always chalked it off as maybe he's really shy or maybe he's delayed or maybe he just doesn't want to talk just yet. Maybe he doesn't play with kids because he's never been around other kids until recently. But in the back of my head I still wondered "What if?"

We got the referral from his doctor and met with our county's developmental department. We were interviewed. Timothy was interviewed. And we were accepted quite quickly into the Pre-K Program (You have to be approved for the Pre-K program. It has to be determined that your child needs extra help in the county that we live in)

We all thought once in that program that he would start speaking quickly because we've heard so many stories from other parents that all their child needed was "some extra help" or "to be around other kids more." So we were hopeful.

But it's been almost 5 months now and still no improvement. If anything, Timothy is speaking even less now. He used to say is ABC's and would count to 10 (Only on his own time and his own terms) My fiance asked for a meeting with his teachers.

He's in a class with 4 other children. He goes 3 hours a day 4 days a week. He has several teachers and they are all wonderful ladies. I feel completely safe knowing that he is in their hands.

Last night I was just browsing Yahoo's main page when I came across this other mother's experience with finding out her 3 year old was autistic. She had never even thought about it until one day she took him and her infant to the mall and they deviated from their normal routine. She said that her 3 year old had complete melt down right there in front of everyone. She didn't know what was wrong or how to stop him. She was alone and he was trying to hit and kick her and her infant. People were standing around watching and whispering. Judging.

Finally this little elderly woman came up to her and offered to hold her infant while she calmed her toddler down. No one else had even offered it at this point. She accepted and the lady stayed until she finally got him quiet.

As I read this article, I thought to myself "This is me." I am so thankful for my parents because they are able to watch my toddler and infant if I need to go somewhere like the store. Because I have had this same exact thing happen to me. And like the woman in the article, everyone just stares and judges. People automatically jump to the conclusion that you must be a bad parent if your child is behaving that way.

At that moment, I felt like it was meant for me to read that article.

I began researching autism. I was up until 4am researching it when I had to be up at 8am for my infant's doctor's appointment. I came across a website that asks questions and at the end they give you the likeliness that your child might be autistic. (Obviously it was just a questionnaire and not something concrete) I answered all questions honestly and at the end my results said: "Your child is at high risk to have autism".

I went to the appointment hoping his teachers would have answers. We talked for 20 minutes. We were asking questions like "Does he share?" or "Does he hit when he's upset?" and "Does he have tantrums?" And they answered all of the questions for us.

Finally the main teacher asked, "What do you all think?" I felt like that was a chance for me to say, "I think it might be some form of autism". And when I said that all 3 teachers looked at each other and shook their heads yes. They confirmed that they too believe that he has some form of it.

We stayed and talked for another hour. They were so helpful and gave us lots of ideas and tips. At his next doctor's appointment we are going to ask for a referral for him to see a specialist. The teachers are also going to try to get him in with the school psychologist to get her analysis. They said it may take a while to get him in but to keep on with the doctor's and do not let up because the sooner he gets evaluated and they find out what the situation is, the sooner we can help him.

Patrick teared up a few times during the interview. I kept cool. I am normally the one who cries and is over emotional. But I never did. I still haven't. I have even thought to myself, "Why haven't you cried? Your child may have autism"? But honestly I am not sad. I am relieved.

I am not relieved that he might have autism. I am relieved that we are finally taking a step forward. I have felt so helpless recently because I feel like no matter how hard we try we aren't helping him adequately enough.

He gets so upset, so easily if we deviate from certain situations. Or if we don't do something quickly enough or to his liking, he has a total meltdown. And because he doesn't speak, it makes things 10 times harder because it is a constant guessing game.

As I was typing this out, he was trying to hit me because he wants on the computer. I had to explain that I will be done in a little while and he can get on it. But it took almost 20 minutes to calm him down.

At times I have felt so helpless or like I was doing something wrong as a parent. I wondered why he doesn't talk or want to interact with other children, why he isn't more loving toward us. I've asked myself "Does he love me?" and cried. It's been really hard.

So hearing today that professionals who have been around this and know what to look for confirm that he might need to be seen made me take a sigh of relief. Again, I am not hoping that he has autism. He may not have autism. It may be something completely different or nothing at all. But we are taking a step forward. And it looks like there is light at the end of the tunnel.

No matter what, I love Tim Tim. I have mentioned all of the reasons that we think he may have a form of autism. But that isn't what defines him by any means. He's a beautiful, intelligent, wonderful little boy. And all I want to do is be able to help him how he needs to be helped.  We are now on the path of doing that.


Friday, April 3, 2015

Rustic Apartment Living Room Decor

I love love, love rustic decor. I always have. And it has always been my dream to use rustic decor in my home. And for a long time, I thought that you had to live in a house to decorate using rustic decor. Then I thought "Why?" Why would I need to live in a house to decorate that way?

The simple answer: I don't. You can live in an apartment, a townhouse, a trailer, a double wide, wherever and decorate however you would like. There are no rules! And why buy things to decorate this town home while we live here just to buy rustic decor when we buy a house of our own? That's silly. So I decided to decorate our townhouse/apartment in rustic!